“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”
Your Happiness is Up to You
The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not right or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else’s. Throughout my life, I’ve met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. I tried to live my life with this idea in my head, and what I have learned is……This is nonsense!
The fact is that you can’t give away to anyone else what you don’t have for yourself. Just as you can’t give money to the poor if you don’t have any, you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.
The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy.
Today Nikki and I want to present you 7 steps toward a more happy and positive life, and hopefully you will realize that it’s a lot easier to achieve happiness for your self and then share it with others.
1. Positive Thinking
It’s a universal truth that your thoughts control you feelings. In order to feel happy we need to experience happy and positive thoughts. Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy because of the thoughts that you have about people or things in your life. Becoming a FREE and healthy person involves learning to think differently. Be aware of what’s entering your mind, stop yourself from spiraling down the dark hole by turning a negative thought into something positive.
2. Give up the need for control
Personally this one I find challenging. Although I’m much better than I used to be, I’m a bit of a control freak. I often use perfectly good energy trying to plan, predict, and prevent things that I cannot possibly plan, predict, or prevent.
We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.
Decide that it is okay to just observe events and situation without the need to change what’s in front of you. When we suggest that you should give up the need for control, we don’t mean that you should just sit with your arms crossed and do nothing, what we are suggesting is to accept reality as it is. Of course if there is anything that can be improved to do so, but without fighting it.
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
- Brian Tracy
3. Give up complaining and blaming
Complaining about yourself, about other people and things around you is a useless activity, and one which keeps you from effectively living a happy life. Nobody likes to be in a presence of a complainer. Think about it….can anything positive and happy arise from you telling others about the things you dislike?
The next time you are at a social gathering try this little exercise. Chronicle how much conversation is actually spent in complaining. About yourself, others, events, prices, weather, and on and on. Now, when the party is over ask yourself, “how much of the complaining that went on tonight accomplished anything? ” Who truly cares about all the things we moaned about tonight? Then, the next time you are about to complain keep the uselessness and waste of energy that went on that night in mind.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
Take an inventory of the people around you and measuring their level of positive attitude in your life. Are they contributing to your happiness or are they dragging you down? It is important for our own attitude that we surround ourselves with positive people as much as possible. But in turn, we must also be viewed as positive people.
5. Face your fears
One of the man I admire and respect – Geoff Thompson – said:
“Fear is the friend of exceptional people, so be exceptional and learn to like your fear, better still have a love affair with your fear.”
With that in mind, learn to love fear, if you love it you will no longer fear it. Remember this; fear is normal. It is only when we see fear as abnormal that it becomes a problem. Fear is biology – it is your biology, it may be triggered by external stimulus, but it is a part of you, so there is no need to fear it. Start by simply doing things you fear on a regular basis. For example if you fear speaking in public join a public speaking group. Have a fear of heights? Learn how to rock-climb. Trust me, first it will be uncomfortable and scary but soon the rewards from attacking your fears will give you such a boost of confidence that you will want to chase them!
6. Stop worrying about what others think
Your worry keeps you from living! A worrier sits around and thinks about things, while a doer must be up and about. That means that worry itself is a clever device to keep you inactive and often depressed and unhappy. Would you rather be pitied and miserable then fulfilled and happy? I believe the answer is clear
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
7. Suspend your disbelief
I came to believe that nothing in this universe can be still for too long. We are either growing or dying. Don’t waste time being comfortable. Expand your horizons, learn new language, read self help books, join a sports team. Do things that fulfill you and put a smile on your face.
This is your time. This is your happiness. Step up to the plate of this phenomena called LIFE. Don’t sit on the side-lines while the brave few take all the fun.
Ditch your fear, take your risks, take your opportunities while they are there and for God’s sake, live your HAPPY life NOW!
What is your secret to happiness? What helps you keep your focus on the good instead of the bad? We really want to know what are your thoughts on this. Please share your insights in the comment section bellow.
Until next time be well,
Zuzana & Nikki