Are You Making This Self-Sabotaging Mistake?
I love meeting new clients and hearing their story and what brought them to the fitness world.
During a consultation the other day with a new client, I realized how much pressure and expectations we put on ourselves.
My new client was telling me how she prefers to workout in her own home alone. She has tried group classes before and enjoyed it but not the same as when she is training on her own. I started to dig a little bit deeper to understand where this was coming from.
After our discussion I realized how often we compare ourselves to others and never really accept ourselves for who we are. Why do we always strive to be someone else rather than be happy with who we are? We are either trying to get the abs we see on the latest health magazine or striving to buy the newest Marc Jacob handbag because everyone else has it. Why do we have the mentality of only being “accepted” when we mimic and reflect those around us?
The result? – a boring life with everyone anxiously attempting to look the same and dress the same, rather than experiencing our beautiful diversity and individuality.
I started to ask my client if she would often find herself in the group atmospheres comparing and judging her self to others… and of course the answer was yes. She realized as we were conversing that during our one on one session she didn’t notice anyone else in the gym and strictly was focused on herself. This should be applied to every part of our life – no matter where you are or what you are doing. Accept and be present with who you are and what you are doing and not always worry about those around you. Now I will use a disclaimer – I am not saying to become selfish and not put others feelings into consideration.
Personally I can relate to this life of constant comparison and judgment. I did it for a long time in many places… at the gym, in yoga… you name it – I probably had some sort of judgments on myself based on someone else and lost focus on me. By doing that you really are not giving yourself 100% of effort and focus on what you are doing – you are losing some of that energy to thought, worry, and other non beneficial habits. I now have come to realize that we are all one but different at the same time and that’s what makes life beautiful.
While traveling in Thailand I would often see the phrase “Same, Same but Different” maybe you have heard it? I love it! Start to view life this way from parts of nature to people around you. Realize when it comes down to it we are all part of this beautiful universe as energy – “Same”. At the same time we are all “different” in our form.
I admit there are times I still need to remind myself of this. Once in a while I catch myself in a yoga practice comparing my pose to someone else’s, my ego tries to compete and out do that individual. Why? It’s so silly… I think it is okay to use this “comparison” as motivation but not as discouragement. Sadly we often take the path of discouragement. Start to become aware of your judgments and comparisons – ask yourself if it is more harmful than helpful to your progress. If you choose harmful acknowledge it and move on, don’t dwell over it.
“Our thoughts are our own creation. We make them real by cooperating with them. If we withdraw our support, they will dissolve. Observe the thoughts closely, without labeling them. Then you will see them gradually going away.” -Amma